Best Friends Forever: How Does a Cat Choose “Their” Person?

If you have at least one cat and more than one person living in your home, there’s a good chance that one of the people is the cat’s whole world, while the other… well, the other just lives in the same house. With two cats in the household, the odds even out a bit because often one cat will choose one person, and the other will choose the other caretaker—our boys, Teddy and Kitku Yoda, are the best example 🙂 But why does this happen, and how does a cat decide who will be “their” favorite person? Let’s explore the topic together, fabCats!

Cat Magnetism: Why Do Some People Attract All the Cats Around?

There isn’t one, golden rule cats use to choose their favorite humans. After all, they are complex creatures that won’t just reveal their thoughts and intentions easily. In many areas, we can only speculate, but one thing is certain: while the time and attention caretakers devote to their cats is hugely important, it’s not the main criterion used by felines. We know too many cases where one person handles most of the cat care, but it’s the other caretaker who gets to enjoy the cat’s company on their lap as soon as they sit down in front of the TV. Such is feline gratitude! This rule also applies not just to regular caretakers. Some people attract cats like magnets wherever they go. Sometimes, these are even people who don’t particularly like cats and certainly don’t seek their attention. So, what’s the deal with this whole cat philosophy?

It’s all about the aura around a person! Cats respect their personal space. They are often drawn to people who can understand the boundaries set by the cat and don’t cross them unless the cat wants to. If you have a calm temperament, enjoy routine, and your movements are predictable and not too abrupt, you’ll surely earn some extra points in your cat’s eyes. Feeding, handing out snacks, playing, and cleaning the litter box—points are piling up left and right. But don’t rest on your laurels, fabCat. If your cat is a fan of activity and a bit of craziness, they’ll choose the person they can have fun with—being a lazy couch potato isn’t their type. The conclusion? To win a cat over, match your energy to their personality.

What Can’t You Control, fabCat? Your Scent. Pheromones are the key to a cat’s heart, and every person, like every cat, has their own scent. Sometimes these scents just perfectly match. If your scent appeals to the cat, that’s it—the cat will choose you as their person, and even if they tolerate or even adore other family members, they will always come back to you.

You’ll Know Your Cat’s Favorite Person By…

When a cat particularly likes someone, they’ll find at least a few ways to show it clearly:

  • Sitting on their caretaker’s lap (or nearby if the cat isn’t a lap cat).
  • Cuddling, rubbing, head-butting—close physical contact will be evident because the cat is trying to mark “their” person with their own scent.
  • Loudly saying “hello!” at every greeting. Even if your cat isn’t a social type who runs to greet guests, they won’t miss the chance to greet you when you return from work, shopping, or even a 5-minute trip to the bathroom. They might head-butt you, rub against you, or jump onto the scratcher and express their emotions—this is also a part of cat communication saying, “I’m happy you’re here, human!”

Depending on the cat’s personality, other signs of favoritism might include sleeping with their person in bed (or on their side when the person gets up in the morning), vocalizing and “talking” to one chosen caretaker, rolling around in their clothes, sitting on the chair the person just left, and following their caretaker step by step like a shadow, making sure they don’t miss anything.

Do your cats, fabCats, show you any of these signs? Let us know!

How Can You Improve Your Relationship With Your Cat?

There’s not much you can do about a cat’s favoritism: once the cat chooses their person, they’ll stick with them even if they are separated for a while, and the other caretaker takes the lead. Nevertheless, we strongly encourage you, fabCats, to work on earning your cat’s affection and strive for them to treat all family members with a similar level of trust. It will make things easier for everyone 🙂

What steps can you take in this direction?

Building Relationships Early. Start working on your relationship with the cat from day one. Whether you’re bringing the cat home from a breeder, a foundation, or a shelter, try to spend as much time with them as possible in the first few days. And we’re not talking about constant play or smothering the cat with overprotectiveness—just be good company. Let the cat approach you first and make sure all their needs are met. This way, the cat will feel they can trust you from day one.

Learning Cat Communication. This is a must. If you can understand the messages your cat is sending you, they will immediately sense it and know they have a friend in you. How your cat communicates with you will depend on their personality traits, but if you want to start on the right foot, master feline body language, respect the cat’s personal space, and ensure their basic needs are met—that’s already a big step forward. Over time, you’ll learn much more about your cat, and it will become easier for you to communicate, no matter the circumstances.

Time Quality Over Quantity. If you spend all day with your cat while your partner comes home after 12 hours at work, it’s pretty clear that the cat will bond more with you. After all, they see you 24/7. But the amount of time spent with the cat isn’t everything. If your cat spends most of their time on the couch with you but only gets to go wild with their favorite toy after your partner returns, hunts for treats, chats with birds outside the window, or practices tricks, there’s a good chance your partner will become their favorite caretaker. Because it seems they understand the cat’s needs better. The conclusion? Don’t let your cat get bored in your company. Adjust the play and rest schedule to your cat’s personality, but don’t condemn them to a whole day of naps just because you don’t have the time or ideas on how to engage with them. You can always find 5 minutes to play 🙂

Stick to a Routine. We can’t stress this enough—cats love routine. If you’re the one responsible for cleaning the litter box, serving breakfast, and playing, and you also wake up and go to bed at the same time, always open the balcony for the cat, serve treats, and generally live according to a set schedule, you’ll surely rank high on the cat’s list of candidates for favorite person.

A Question for the Audience, fabCats: Did your cats quickly choose their favorites, or are they among that rare group of cats who simply love everyone? Tell us a bit about them in the comments—we’d love to hear your fabCat stories! 🙂 

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