Get a grip, hooman! People’s behaviours that your cat just doesn’t understand

An old cat saying tells that a real cat achieves their goals not through strength, but intelligence. After all, anything that cats take upon themselves has to have a meaning and lead to a prize worth their effort. Cats live smart so they can live lazy. But hoomans? Hoomans definitely didn’t stand in the queue for life wisdom along with cats. A hooman’s day is full of redundant tasks that can’t be explained – they don’t make sense in the cat’s brain. Get a grip, hooman! 

Today, fabCats, we’re giving the control of our blog into our cat experts who have something important to say to us all, hoomans. From the purrfessional observation of the team cats: Teddy, Kitku Yoda, Luna and Tosia, it seems like our day-to-day actions are incomprehensible to our cat friends. What has definitely caught their attention?  

Hoomans walk on two feet

They explain their straight standing posture with some evolution talk, but us cats, we know better and we’re laughing at hoomans everyday. Two legs? No wonder their spines hurt from standing up or sitting down. That’s why you’re walking on four paws – to equally distribute your weight. And add cat yoga to it, too, it’s mandatory!  

And wash themselves with water every day

Cats mastered the art of grooming their own bodies to purrfection. Tiny hooks on the tongue allow us to smoothly comb through our luscious manes, paws wet with saliva can get anywhere and above all that, we don’t have the need for weird towels or, what’s even more important, a need to get in water! Great, isn’t it? There’s this cat saying: “End of the tongue makes for a great towel”, but hoomans haven’t caught up with it yet. 

Hooman’s food is inedible 

What sometimes happens in the kitchen is simply beyond a cat’s comprehension. Greens, spices that irritate our noses, pots and pans everywhere, strange winding pasta. Why get so weird? Give me here, hooman, a piece of raw meat, a tuna filet or a good quality canned food! Carbs? Veggies? Meow, thank you. 

And their litter box doesn’t clean itself

Hooman’s hygiene can make a cat’s skin crawl, but the biggest overkill of them all is that they have to clean their litter boxes themself! Hello? Good thing flushing helps them a little. Us, cats, have hoomans to clean our litter boxes immediately after we use them. Hoomans should be learning from cats.

Hoomans get into cars VOLUNTARILY!

We don’t get that. Every cat knows that your own territory is the best place to be and you have to protect every tiny bit of it. Hoomans, on the other hand, get into cars – moving cars! – and go somewhere unknown, not worrying about anything. And it’s one thing that they’re leaving their territory behind, but the fact that they are moving to a foreign territory and get pleasure out of it? Unspeakable. 

But panic when they see a spider

Or a fly, a mosquito and other tiny insects. Do you get that? No consistency – leaving brings them no fear, but a small spider is a catastrophe, forcing hoomans to leave the territory now. Unthinkable! Instead of being happy that the house was visited by the ideal hunting material, they make drama about it and buy swatters, traps and other gadgets to get rid of the insects. Isn’t a spider under the ceiling a fascinating sight? Better than most telenovelas! 

Hoomans also like noise

Unline cats. Why do hoomans need such loud things like a hoover, a hair dryer, a blender or a record player, if all it takes is to lick it, bite it, swat it with your paw and be done. And you can sleep in silence and not bother others. Noisy gadgets don’t bring anything good to the household. 

And wear clothes

What for? There’s no sight more wonderful than cat yoga and lotus pose in the morning. Though maybe the hooman version isn’t such a great sight? Anyway, it’s their own doing – they cut their hair short or shave it off, leaving just the ones on their head unproportionally longer than all the other hair and then they’re surprised they’re cold and can’t go without clothes! 

But what’s the most strange of all … they always sleep in the same spot

And here, dear readers, our cat patience ends. How can you sleep in one spot your entire life? And in one position, most of the time! Where’s the beauty of cat yoga, where are the pretzels, donuts, sphynx and seal poses. Where’s the respect for soft pillows and ergonomic cat scratchers, for naps in the middle of the kitchen floor and under a warm radiator right when it starts to get cosy. Hoomans have no idea on how to use their surroundings and watching it is for us, cats, so exhausting, we have to go for another nap. Just for the sake of it. 

We have to admit, fabCats, that the points our cat experts made here were very surprising to us too. Which ones caught your attention? Let us know in the comments. And certainly ask your fluffy companions about things they find weird in hooman’s behaviour! We’re curious to know what they think. 

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